Thursday, 21 February 2013



again, I am a disappointment. I seem to have disappointed a lot of people lately. Regardless of what I did, I am always a disappointment. I always fail to live up to expectations. Nothing new there! I am also disappointed with myself! I wish I could tell everybody that "hey, I know I am a disappointment, I know! I have been told so many times, so I know!

I am sorry!

May Allah give us the strength, wisdom and eman. Amen

speak soon
love x



InshaAllah all is well.

I find really difficult telling people how I really feel. Most of the time, I fail to tell them how I feel or what I want to do or not want to do. Because of this I feel depressed, angry, and sad. I am angry with myself. Why can't I just tell them that I don't want to do it. Because of my inability to tell people how I really feel, I am always placed in an awkward position, even worst I feel miserable and angry all the time!

How should I say it?

Okay scenario one:
Tell that person straight to his/her face:
Ehm... you know...bla..bla...It's driving me mad! I don't want to do it. I don't like doing it. I am not interested ! full stop. Please let me do what I want to do..please leave me alone and stop breathing down my neck! get off my back!!

Scenario two:
Ehm.. you know I hate it when I get told off for doing it wrong when I have no ideas how to do it in the first place. If you want to do it, do it yourself. leave me out of it! I have told you so many times, I hate doing this, I don't want to do this. Please understand and respect my decision!

Scenario three:
Keep bottling it in! Coward!!

Ya Allah, please  grant me the iman, strength, wisdom and patience to face this challenge. Ya Rabbi! Ya Kareem!

may Allah protect us all! Ameen..

speak soon!
love xx

Monday, 15 October 2012

Ethnic Expo Columbus 2012


InshaAllah all is well!

Last Saturday we went to the Ethnic Expo in downtown Columbus.

I was pleasantly surprised to see so many different ethnics/cultures in this middle of nowhere. There were food stalls from almost every where e.g. China, Poland, Brasil, Korea .. 
Malayisa jer yg takde :((


Teringat warung warung kat Malaysia - shahdu!!!!

and of course there were live music and cultural performances!
Scottish bagpipes group

Japanese dancers ( well, at least most of them)

Live music ( not sure from where, possibly from Trinidad??)

Pak polisi pun ader - ni Sheriff 

Macam macam ada di jual

babah was checking out the delicious vegetarian dumpling

Then, at night there were fireworks!! Awesome!! 

Pastu we met Kas there and later went to her house for kopi and borak borak. Best! Alhamdulilah..

May Allah give us the strength, Iman and the patience to be good muslim, Ameen!

speak soon 

love xx

Saturday, 13 October 2012

here and there


we went to a garage sale/yard sale yesterday. Nothing much, just a few old stuff. It was small, and the stuff  was basically sold in the garage with some spread onto the lawn.

One of the things that I missed in the UK is the car boot sale. I love car booting! you can get almost anything that you want or need, new or pre-owned, most of the time, at a bargain. And it's huge! (well the one that we frequent, anyway). There are usually rows of rows of traders selling their stuff from the car boot!

we registered the children with Northside Paediatrics yesterday but we had to wait for a week or so for a visit. And of course, health insurance  is really important. I haven't got my head round the insurance issue. It's really complicated!

Health care is free ( abah will disagree!!). Bottom line, no health insurance is needed.

Have yet to make new friends.

I miss you people, friends in Durham, Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester etc...


a working mother

the neighbours/neighbourhood seem(s) friendly and welcoming.  People would stop by and say hello! But I have been advised that friendliness does not mean acceptance.

my old place - you mind your own business!

the sun is mostly out! Glorious weather ( so far)!!!

mostly gloomy and depressing! It rains and rains and rains!!!

will write more, inshaAllah.

May Allah protect us from harm! Ameen

speak soon
love xx

Friday, 12 October 2012

It's Friday!

Assalamualaykum... I had my driving test today and alhamdulillah I passed. The first time I took it, I failed miserably. Even the instructor was unsympathetic! Today, after a few challenging (is this the right word to use?) lessons with babah, I did it. Good job!!

 Went to the mosque for Friday prayer with the kids. Alhamdulilah for Allah's blessing, even in this small Midwest town in the US ( Columbus is really small with 40000 population) there is a small yet united Muslim community! Allahu Akhbar!    
 Islamic Society of Columbus Indiana

The kids are still on their fall break. And they are really bored! nak buat apa yek? rumah tak habis kemas lagi...and we are sooo not motivated to unpack all those boxes! Help!!

 Rindu Sheffield! rindu Malaysia!

 May Allah protect us from harm wherever we are Ameen!

 Speak soon. love xx

Thursday, 11 October 2012

How time flies!! everybody is so grown up now! and that makes me what? Old? yap, bang on! Soon, they' ll be leaving for college, inshaAllah. and how would that make me feel? sad? Happy? maybe both? not sure yet, inshaAllah, if Allah is willing, I might be able to say how does it feels when the time comes. Until then, I guess we are growing up and growing old(er) together.

 It's almost the weekend. There is an international fair in Columbus this weekend. Will share some photos (kalau pergi lah) if not, we are going to spend our weekend cutting the grass and blowing  the leaves off the sidewalk... a mammoth ( if I may say so) task considering the size of the yard!

 May Allah bless us and protect all of us from harm. Ameen!

speak soon
 love xxx
Assalamualaykum It has been a long time! InshaAllah now that I have more free time ( I hope), I can share my new adventure. I've got a tale to tell! I hope all is well! InshaAllah xx