disappointment

Assalamualaykum...

again, I am a disappointment. I seem to have disappointed a lot of people lately. Regardless of what I did, I am always a disappointment. I always fail to live up to expectations. Nothing new there! I am also disappointed with myself! I wish I could tell everybody that "hey, I know I am a disappointment, I know! I have been told so many times, so I know!

I am sorry!

May Allah give us the strength, wisdom and eman. Amen

speak soon
love x

How?

Assalamualaykum,

InshaAllah all is well.

I find really difficult telling people how I really feel. Most of the time, I fail to tell them how I feel or what I want to do or not want to do. Because of this I feel depressed, angry, and sad. I am angry with myself. Why can't I just tell them that I don't want to do it. Because of my inability to tell people how I really feel, I am always placed in an awkward position, even worst I feel miserable and angry all the time!

How should I say it?

Okay scenario one:
Tell that person straight to his/her face:
Ehm... you know...bla..bla...It's driving me mad! I don't want to do it. I don't like doing it. I am not interested ! full stop. Please let me do what I want to do..please leave me alone and stop breathing down my neck! get off my back!!

Scenario two:
Ehm.. you know I hate it when I get told off for doing it wrong when I have no ideas how to do it in the first place. If you want to do it, do it yourself. leave me out of it! I have told you so many times, I hate doing this, I don't want to do this. Please understand and respect my decision!

Scenario three:
Keep bottling it in! Coward!!

Ya Allah, please  grant me the iman, strength, wisdom and patience to face this challenge. Ya Rabbi! Ya Kareem!

may Allah protect us all! Ameen..

speak soon!
love xx

Ethnic Expo Columbus 2012

Assalamualaykum...

InshaAllah all is well!

Last Saturday we went to the Ethnic Expo in downtown Columbus.



I was pleasantly surprised to see so many different ethnics/cultures in this middle of nowhere. There were food stalls from almost every where e.g. China, Poland, Brasil, Korea .. 
Malayisa jer yg takde :((

 

Teringat warung warung kat Malaysia - shahdu!!!!

and of course there were live music and cultural performances!

Scottish bagpipes group

Japanese dancers ( well, at least most of them)

Live music ( not sure from where, possibly from Trinidad??)

Pak polisi pun ader - ni Sheriff 

Macam macam ada di jual

babah was checking out the delicious vegetarian dumpling



Then, at night there were fireworks!! Awesome!! 

Pastu we met Kas there and later went to her house for kopi and borak borak. Best! Alhamdulilah..

May Allah give us the strength, Iman and the patience to be good muslim, Ameen!

speak soon 

love xx

here and there

Assalamualaykum...

here:
we went to a garage sale/yard sale yesterday. Nothing much, just a few old stuff. It was small, and the stuff  was basically sold in the garage with some spread onto the lawn.

there:
One of the things that I missed in the UK is the car boot sale. I love car booting! you can get almost anything that you want or need, new or pre-owned, most of the time, at a bargain. And it's huge! (well the one that we frequent, anyway). There are usually rows of rows of traders selling their stuff from the car boot!

here:
we registered the children with Northside Paediatrics yesterday but we had to wait for a week or so for a visit. And of course, health insurance  is really important. I haven't got my head round the insurance issue. It's really complicated!

there:
Health care is free ( abah will disagree!!). Bottom line, no health insurance is needed.

here:
Have yet to make new friends.

there:
I miss you people, friends in Durham, Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester etc...

here:
home-maker

there:
a working mother

here:
the neighbours/neighbourhood seem(s) friendly and welcoming.  People would stop by and say hello! But I have been advised that friendliness does not mean acceptance.

there:
my old place - you mind your own business!

here:
the sun is mostly out! Glorious weather ( so far)!!!

there:
mostly gloomy and depressing! It rains and rains and rains!!!

will write more, inshaAllah.

May Allah protect us from harm! Ameen

speak soon
love xx

It's Friday!

Assalamualaykum... I had my driving test today and alhamdulillah I passed. The first time I took it, I failed miserably. Even the instructor was unsympathetic! Today, after a few challenging (is this the right word to use?) lessons with babah, I did it. Good job!!

 Went to the mosque for Friday prayer with the kids. Alhamdulilah for Allah's blessing, even in this small Midwest town in the US ( Columbus is really small with 40000 population) there is a small yet united Muslim community! Allahu Akhbar!    
 Islamic Society of Columbus Indiana

The kids are still on their fall break. And they are really bored! nak buat apa yek? rumah tak habis kemas lagi...and we are sooo not motivated to unpack all those boxes! Help!!

 Rindu Sheffield! rindu Malaysia!

 May Allah protect us from harm wherever we are Ameen!

 Speak soon. love xx

How time flies!! everybody is so grown up now! and that makes me what? Old? yap, bang on! Soon, they' ll be leaving for college, inshaAllah. and how would that make me feel? sad? Happy? maybe both? not sure yet, inshaAllah, if Allah is willing, I might be able to say how does it feels when the time comes. Until then, I guess we are growing up and growing old(er) together.

 It's almost the weekend. There is an international fair in Columbus this weekend. Will share some photos (kalau pergi lah) if not, we are going to spend our weekend cutting the grass and blowing  the leaves off the sidewalk... a mammoth ( if I may say so) task considering the size of the yard!

 May Allah bless us and protect all of us from harm. Ameen!

speak soon
 love xxx

Assalamualaykum It has been a long time! InshaAllah now that I have more free time ( I hope), I can share my new adventure. I've got a tale to tell! I hope all is well! InshaAllah xx

why??

why did I back down? Why did I let you walk all over me? Why did I let myself think that you are special when you are clearly NOT!!!

eid mubarak

eid mubarak everyone!

?

Why? how? when?
....hmmm

ramadhan kareem

Dear All, we would like to wish everybody a wonderful and blessed month of Ramadhan! Untuk Atuk and Mai in Melaka, aunties and uncles in Malaysia, Melbourne, Dubai and Singapore and cousins and friends wherever you are...Ramadhan kareem

monologue

I am at work now... curik tulang nih... relax sat... takpe takpe... boss tengah meeting...students plak gi trip to Lincoln...wahh heaven...

alamak assignment bebudak tak abis mark lagi... bile due reports ni ahh... let see... alamak yesterday ...mampus.... ok ok... relax...jangan kantoi... antar email kat helen cakap tak siap lagi by today mesti boleh complete nyer... sorry helen...

boring lah plak orang takde nih...well ...I'll make myself another cuppa!!!

anecdotes

Ihsan, on the way back from a friend's open house, asked his babah. "babah, hari raya ada dua jenis kan, one is hari raya aidil fitri and another is maaf zahir batin"

Kakak farah's million dollars question, "Ummi, is it hard being a woman?"

Iman, talking about his ambition, "I want to be a celebrity hairdresser!"

And the best of all, my youngest, Fatihah looking at me with her wide innocent eyes and said, " I love you and you love me!" and smothered me with wet kisses all over my face. Sweet!!! Previous darlings!!!

Happy new year

Selamat menyambut tahun baru hijrah 1430. Selamat tahun baru 2009. May this year bring more health, wealth and an abundance of Iman and Taqwa, insyaAllah.


Hopefully this new year also brings hope and peace to our brothers and sisters in Gaza. The genocide must stop!

Tag-

Again, what a pleasant surprise... Well, nani these are my answers! here goes...

What were you doing 5 years ago?
Arrived in Leicester and embarked on a long and lonely educational journey which I do not care to repeat..

What were the 5 things on your list to do today?
-prepare lunch/dinner/supper
-job hunting
-post "the" letter
-day dream for things to shop on boxing day!
-and of course, simpan sumer pens and pencils for teehah's sake!

What are the snacks that you enjoy?
-Panini
-Jacket potato
-maggie
-chocolate
-Doughnuts buatan kak zu..

What are 5 things that you do if you were a billionaire
-Hire many many maids....
-Beli sumer rumah Justin, Steven and Whitfield and rent them all to fellow Malaysians with cheaper rents
-Charity
-Invest in Trust funds
-Shop till I drop! hahahahaaa I wish!

What 5 jobs you've had?
-Keje McDonald's Kajang - p.s. Faiz, makan sini ker bawak lari! Ring any bells?
-Minah kilang
-Cikgu sekolah in Seremban
-Lecturer IIUM
-and of course the latest- floor manager

Who are the 5 person you want to tag?
Ayu (gerenti Ayu tak buat nih....)
Normi
Kak Faiz
Shidah
Anis

Teehah and the pen

Today, something happened that really shook me to the core.

Teehah tripped while she was holding a black ball pen in her hand. I wasn't really paying attention to her as I was sweeping the bread crumbs off the floor. Just a minute ago, she was happily playing with her playskool castle and the next, she was lying on her face, screaming in agony! I turned towards her and to my horror, I saw the black devil pen penned under her tiny beautiful face, next to her right eye. Immediately, I knew something was wrong...I lifted her up and blood was trailing off from the wound underneath her eye. My panic button went off! All hell broke loose!

Then the paramedics came and we went to the hospital in the ambulance and Jill (one of the paramedics) was really sweet and she helped to calm me and teehah down. Kak zu was there as well. Midah and Marlina helped to look after the children (mine and kak zu's) while we were at the hospital.

We waited and waited and waited and waited for the doctors. We reached the hospital at half past two and we went home at half past six. Imagine that! It was indeed a very very loooong wait at the A&E. Auntie Zu left at 4.30 because she had to go to work. Then Rohaida and her mum came and they brought along some popias and nasik ayam ...Yummy!

Nevertheless, thank you Allah, Alhamdulillah everything was okay and according to the doctors, the cut under teehah's eye is superficial and it will heal on its own... well, we will have to wait and see, won't we.

Then babah came and took us home. The end!...

The moral of the story is.... buang semua pen hitam!

the children's anecdote

Satu:

Minggu sudah, farah cirit birit and because of this she was off school for two days. I had to go to kak amy to help her because she was moving. Hence, I had to take farah with me. When we were there, farah went to the loo and while we were busy unpacking and packing things, we heard her shouted, "ummi ummi, tomorrow I can go to school, kakak dah tak sakit perut dah, berak kakak dah kuat!"

Dua:

Today, the kids ada ceramah dgn ustaz maszlee about the differences between raya org islam and raya non-muslim... Ihsan was excited about it and when he got back from school, he confidently told me that, "ummi, ummi hari ni ada curabah ummi, curabah ustaz maszlee kat rumah aunti ayu"

Tiga:

A few weeks back, iman was helping me in the kitchen. He was peeling the onions and garlic and was trying to make small talk while doing the chore, "ummi, you know ada cerita melayu pasal these onions tau ummi"
"Ye ker, how do you know"
"Yes, my friends (his Malaysian friends) told me"
"what is it called then"
"bawang besar and bawang putih!"

Alhamdulillah

Today I received the much awaited letter from my Uni. Alhamdulillah, it brought good news. Ailong was happy too. Alhamdulillah...Thank you Allah.

Dear Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

we meet again

I am so glad that I have managed to hook up with many of my long lost buddies. It has been ages, 12 years to be precise. Many of these friends have secured well-paid jobs, some assume influential roles at Ministries, others have traveled around the world, a good friend has successfully set up his own company and many have been religiously teaching the younger generation to be aspiring leaders.

This reunion was unexpected, yet I knew somehow someday, one of us would do it, to become the string that binds us all. And my thanks goes to a lovely English language teacher in Keramat. Well done! And I continue to hope that many more of these friends, especially those who are lost and not yet found will be reunited.

Welcome back folks!

Interview session

Ijjou came to our house today because she wanted to interview the Malaysian children. I managed to assemble 13 youngsters (imagine having 13 boisterous children in the house) and the focus of discussion was on the group of teenagers who had been terrorizing them. These unruly yobs enjoyed tormenting and bullying the children wherever and whenever they had the slightest opportunity to strike.

Although the session ended when most of the children somehow managed to lock themselves up in the living room, the interviews went well...Alhamdulillah. Ijjou got what she came for. Ailong had to use his breaking and entering skills to wedge open the door.. Alas, all was safe...Fatihah was among those who got locked in, but I was not that concerned because I knew Ailong could unlock the jammed door. Budak2 nih, macam2 lah...sabar je lah.